I don’t use the mighty c-word often, nor do I use it lightly. So, if it’s coming out of my mouth (or rather being put in this blog) know that I mean it with every fibre of my being.

This is arguably the hardest part of this craft. Only rivaled by having to deal with criticism.

Having a passion for something inherently makes you more prone to emotional responses to anything related to that passion. Naturally, there is going to be ups and downs as you continue your journey to perfecting the craft of writing (although I really don’t think there’s any blanketed perfection when it comes to writing. There’s sentence structure, sure. And there’s a correct placement for a comma, yup. But perfecting this craft gives the impression there is only one way to write a story…and I’m very grateful that isn’t true).

Kicking Self-Doubt in the Face

I will begin with this.

There is no room in the craft of writing for ego.

I’m sure someone will completely disagree and argue with me until they’re blue in the face that no, in fact, ego is necessary to perfecting the craft and how could you possibly remove your ego from it all? No, no, you are wrong random lady on the internet because this is how I get better. I disagree, you odd creature I happened upon by accident, because I happen to enjoy getting seriously worked up over whether I’m good or bad or if others even like my work (or even worse, they like it but are lying! Ugh, the horrors must persist!)

What if you are neither good nor bad at writing? What if it is merely subjective and the only thing you need to worry about is if you’re dedicated enough to it to continue to learn what makes a story riveting, captivating, worthy of being re-read?

What if you thought about the fact that every “good” writer is bad to someone?

These are the things I tell myself when the self-doubt needs a swift kick in the…phallic shaped appendage.

Balancing Criticism Versus Opinions

The first genuine piece of negative feedback I ever received was a few months after I had completed my English degree. I had finally come across writing contests (how I had gone so long without being aware of them is a testament to how, and how do I say this kindly, blissfully unaware of my online surroundings I was…I miss her, that sweet innocent child) and I had been entering a handful of them. The contest was through writing battle and for anyone who has never heard of or participated in a writing battle contest, you provide feedback and vote on a series of stories. It’s a peer-review first before the actual judges start in on the stories.

The bonus of this kind of contest is you typically get a lot of feedback. It’s usually about 5 peer-reviews and then your judges. After the peer-review is complete you get to continue to interact with your peers and offer feedback.

The contest has a word limit. This one I think was 1k. This is hard. Writing a story with a word limit in general can be difficult but conveying an entire story that is both entertaining, and makes sense, while also utilizing the prompts the contest has given, is no easy feat.

And I failed…well, that’s a matter of opinion.

One out of the five reviews I received was brutal. I closed my laptop and didn’t open it again for two days. I was miserable, depressed, and the idea of writing felt impossible.

And then I realized that this was simply a consequence of putting your work out there. It’s a con, I don’t deny that. And it requires thick skin but also an ability to leave your ego at the door.

I like the story I wrote, and I might even post it here at some point. It was a historical comedy about Marie Antoinette but the one person who didn’t like it said it was a poor attempt at a pastiche (I didn’t even know what that meant, so jokes on you dude!).

“Pastiche: an artistic work in a style that imitates that of another work, artist, or period.” As stated by my google search.

This person wasn’t wrong. I was trying to emulate a certain style given I was writing a short story set in the 18th century. But I also wasn’t attempting to stick so closely to it that it rang true. It was a comedy after all. But it did open my eyes to the fact that 1. There would always be people with more information than me who will effectively call me out of my bull when I’m wrong. 2. My ego is the only thing standing in the way of me not allowing my feelings to be hurt when I get negative feedback.

Get to Know That Negative Voice So Well You Can Tell It to Shut Its Stupid Mouth

Learning to navigate the fear, the worry, and the doubt is just as important as learning how to captivate an audience with your writing. You won’t publish without mastering this and even if you manage to publish, you’ll crumble under the scrutiny.

Find a friend, maybe two. People who believe in you when you can’t manage to believe in yourself. My suggestion is having at least one who isn’t afraid to swear profusely (although this might be a personal preference. I like swear words). Find people who remind you that what you’re doing is pretty frigging cool when you think you’re being very very lame. Find a friend who’s in the game, someone you can vent to who will get it whole heartedly and understand that it’s borderline psychotic to continuously take on rejection in the name of a damn good story.

And most importantly, never forget why you’re doing it in the first place, whatever that reason may be.

My reason?

Because the idea that I could shape someone, help them work through something only a good book could help them through, is a beautiful thing. Because it’s the only thing that makes me feel like every single neuron in my brain is firing at the same time. It’s the only thing that feels like a challenge I can and should face without any doubt.

And f*** do I love it.

Stay writing, even when your brain goblin is being a little b***h.