I’m still writing…although I’m not writing the book I said I was. Mortals in Flesh is the first book I ever completed and for that I am happy to say I finally did it. But as someone who has read possibly too many books, and as someone who has been striving to enter authorhood, I can confidently say that it isn’t where it needs to be.

                  Which means I’ll have to tear it apart like I had originally feared.

                  But because of this I’m feeling extremely drained by the idea of continuing the story. I need (and have taken) space from that project.

                  So, what have I been doing all this time that I’ve been living under a rock?

                  Well for one, I read 11 books! Which was nice. I took a vacation and spent the entire time reading. It was glorious!

                  I also wrote an entire chapter outline for another project. This one has felt easier in a lot of ways (and man am I hoping I don’t jinx myself here). This project is completely different then Mortals in Flesh, which is probably a good thing. If I’m being perfectly honest, I think what I’m working on currently is more in line with what my genre should be given what I’ve found I typically do well in and enjoy writing.

                  As of right now I’m nearly 11k words in and I’ve found myself cackling at the absurdities I’ve come up with. Will it ever see the light of day? I really hope so!

                  This brings us to the title of this post.

Pressure

I put a lot of pressure on myself to stick with Mortals in Flesh, and I don’t regret it because I needed to know I could finish writing a novel. However, it was a hinderance. I got ahead of myself posting it here and on social media because I got caught up in everything they say you should be doing as a wannabe author.

Do I think posting frequently and sharing your work with potential readers is a bad thing? No, it’s the only way to build an audience without relying solely on dumb luck. But doing so before you’re completely ready is a one-way ticket to burnout and failure.

I’m trying very hard to not put insane amounts of pressure on myself for my current project while still being smart about this and not treating it like it’s merely a fun hobby of mine. I want to accomplish this, I’m just not willing to lose my mind or for that matter, lose out on life, because I’m too busy striving for more.

Patience

I lack patience. There, I said it.

To write a full-length novel is to take a great deal of time and dedication to doing so. I found it made me antsy to get to the end, making me fail to write chapters fully and in detail. I found myself overwhelmed by my own world-building. How was I supposed to keep track of all this when I wasn’t even sure it was enough or what I wanted?

Writing takes time and just because there are some talented (and fast) writers out there capable of popping out a book or two (or three) every year doesn’t mean I have to do that and certainly not at the very beginning of my writing career when I’m just simply trying to find my stride.

Paper

Sometimes you just gotta kick it old school.

Instead of typing out everything when I really started in on my current project, I grabbed a notebook. I did some mind-mapping, a tool I wouldn’t typically use but was perfect for this particular project and will be useful later down the line if I turn this into a series. I also outlined my chapters, each having a title and bullet-points for vaguely what I wanted to happen within each of them.

Using paper and pen just made my brain operate differently. This also makes it where I now have an easily accessible reference to what I was thinking when I first started. It gave me an opportunity to figure out where I want conflict to be, where the climax should happen and let my experiment with what direction I wanted to go in.

So, for now, I’m keeping this one locked tight. I’m not going to say what this book is about, or even what genre it’s in. All I will say is I’m having fun and that I do believe in its ability to be a good read for someone other than me.

Stay writing even if no one knows about it!

PS. This is the list of books I read while under my rock

The Inheritance Games by Jennifer Lynn Barnes

The Hawthorne Legacy by Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Fifth Wing: Fourth Wing Parody by Reid Mockery

The Fault is all Yours: A Parody by Reid Mockery

Detergent: A Divergent Parody by Reid Mockery

The Walking Dead Vol. 1 by Robert Kirkman

We Were Liars by E. Lockhart

The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight by Jennifer E. Smith

A Fate Inked in Blood by Danielle L. Jensen

Pines by Blake Crouch

The Poppy War by R.F. Kuang